'I could get resilient tattooed across my head'
Written by I Dig SportsWales lock Natalia John is the embodiment of resilience.
She has even considered getting a tattoo of the word with so many people praising her mental toughness.
And she has needed every inch of it after the year she and her family have gone through.
The 35-cap international has been plagued by injury; her shoulder limiting her Six Nations appearances and her calf forcing her out of the new WXV1 tournament in New Zealand.
She was also left without a club side when Worcester Warriors Women collapsed in October.
But her biggest heartbreak came at the death of her three-year-old nephew Morgan Ridler in June.
He had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, but still managed to get up in the middle of the night to watch 'aunty Tal' play in the Rugby World Cup last year.
"It's so important as a player to have something that drives you," John said.
"We always used to say 'you've got to have your why' and that's definitely my top reason. I want to do everything and achieve everything that he can't now."
'New memories'
John is one of a handful of Wales internationals named in the Brython Thunder squad, one of Wales' two new Celtic Challenge teams.
They will take on Gwalia Lighting at Rodney Parade in Newport on Monday, 1 January (14:00 BST) before facing teams from Ireland and Scotland.
John, now fully fit, says she is looking forward to getting back, but this time with a new perspective.
"I could get resilient tattooed across my forehead because everyone has been saying that word to me, but for me personally I just want to make new memories.
"I want to be back on the rugby pitch, I want to do what I love. If this leads to me making new memories in a Welsh jersey, even better, because I'm not just doing it for me anymore, I'm doing it for him.
"It's showing what I can do again and just enjoy rugby, because I've gone so long of living in this state of 'I've got to perform, I've got to perform'".
For John and ex-Worcester team-mates Alex Callender and Hannah Bluck, the Celtic Challenge could prove to be a shop window as they look for new clubs.
But she says she is "not going to force it" and is enjoying the fact that she now only has to travel a short distance to train with Thunder, which are based at Parc y Scarlets in Llanelli.
"It's been a pretty turbulent year for myself with injuries and everything that has happened and it's really good to know that I can stay at home and I haven't got to travel too far to get to training," John said.
"I used to be travelling two and a half hours to get to Worcester and now I'm just 10-15 minutes up the road so it's a massive change and it gives me an opportunity to really focus on myself and my performance.
"If we can grow this league here and make it so the girls don't have to make those sacrifices, because I remember when I was a full-time teacher and trying to travel to these clubs, it really did takes its toll so it's really important that we grow it here."