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Quarantine Power Rankings: Which stars are bringing their A game while staying at home?

Written by 
Published in Soccer
Tuesday, 21 April 2020 06:03

With football shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic, a number of star players have committed to keeping the masses entertained with their social media output during the lockdown period.

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From dance routines to viral challenges, players the world over have been keeping morale up in a variety of ways.

Some are even surprising us by showcasing their comedy skills, often with the help of a little post-production magic.

Here's a ranking of pros who have really been at the top of their game despite football being furloughed for the foreseeable future.

10. Cristiano Ronaldo

It shouldn't come as much surprise to find that Ronaldo hasn't used confinement as an excuse to ease up on his relentless workout schedule.

Ronaldo's social media output has largely consisted of images and videos of himself in various states of undress while power-lifting, power-squatting, power-thrusting, power-jogging and/or power-posing.

Easter really underlined the difference between the Juventus forward and his main rival, as we saw Lionel Messi celebrate by sharing chocolate eggs with his kids and Ronaldo mark the day with a delicious family feast of plain chicken breast.

However, spending all his time with his loved ones means that nobody has had the heart to tell him that his new top knot is getting OUT OF CONTROL. Thank us later, Cristiano.

9. Alisson

The Liverpool goalkeeper has been keeping his ball-distribution skills sharp despite being confined to his premises, impressing us all by picking out an open skylight in the roof of his three-storey house with a laser-accurate long throw. As if that feat didn't have enough 'wow' factor already, the Brazil international topped it off by executing Ronaldo's trademark "¡Siiiuuuu!" celebration (sending him above the Portugal forward in our ranking, too).

Alisson even turned amateur magician recently with a perfectly executed disappearing act using nothing but a duvet and a strategically placed doorway.

8. Dele Alli

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Isolation birthday #stayhome

A post shared by Dele (@dele) on

Alli had the misfortune of turning 24 during quarantine though the Tottenham Hotspur man didn't let a birthday in confinement get him down.

He celebrated his birthday with a special "isolation party" with a barbecue for one, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and Twister (for one), before getting stuck into a massive cake in the shape of a PlayStation 4 controller.

Previously we'd seen Alli whiling away the hours by using his pets to re-create iconic scenes from Disney classics like "The Lion King", and pranking his partner Ruby Mae with a kitchen-friendly variation of the timeless "take a closer look at the end of the garden hose" spoof.

7. Sean O'Hanlon

You may not instantly recognise the name, but O'Hanlon is an ex-professional centre-back who turned out for the likes of Swindon Town and MK Dons during his career.

However, it's his kids, Kieran and Lucas, who have become the rising stars of the quarantine period after impressing with their brilliant backyard re-creations of classic goals. and impersonations of England's 1990 World Cup squad.

The O'Hanlon clan have inspired many imitators, but they remain the original article and the gold standard of the genre.

6. Thomas Muller

As well as becoming the first player to sign a new contract while observing social distancing guidelines, Muller has also been a lively presence on social media.

The Bayern Munich forward has been keeping fit and active via a series of challenges against Borussia Dortmund's Mats Hummels, and he's even become a human climbing frame for his wife, Lisa.

5. David Luiz

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Quem perder limpa a casa!!! ?????✌?

A post shared by David Luiz (@davidluiz_4) on

Ever the chilled-out entertainer, Luiz has been doing his bit to keep up morale by sharing a steady stream of amusing posts.

The Arsenal and Brazil defender has competed with the man in the mirror ("Whoever loses cleans the house!"), made cups of tea in flamboyant fashion and even turned a football into an Easter pinata with one flick of his boot.

4. Jesse Lingard

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Haters Will Say Its Fake. ??

A post shared by JLingz? (@jesselingard) on

As you might expect, Lingard has been all over social media since the lockdown began, sharing photos of his quarantine workouts and indulging in the odd viral challenge or two.

We have to hand it to the Manchester United forward, while his long-range "top bin" challenge was decent enough, it was his epic "toilet roll challenge" that will go down in history as a masterpiece of the art form. Lingard's well-executed bicycle kick sent the paper roll pinging off several walls and objects inside and outside his house before nestling into the bin with such dizzying perfection that it's hard to believe it really happened and wasn't just the result of some slapdash editing.

It almost makes up for his choice of garden attire. Almost...

3. Antonio Candreva

play
0:28

Inter Milan's Antonio Candreva REALLY misses traveling

Midfielder Antonio Candreva recreates an airport baggage claim in epic fashion with his family.

The Inter Milan winger has been keeping himself and his family busy and active at home with a wide variety of daily activities, from indoor kickabouts to elaborate couple's workout sessions via some impressive treadmill skills. Candreva has even transformed his apartment into a temporary bowling alley.

He's also found time to play with the kids too, though Dad seemed to enjoy the cheeky game of "steal the dummy" a lot more than 1-year-old Raul did.

But there is only so long you can spend at home before your mind starts to dream of flying away on vacation, which perhaps explains why Candreva and family re-created an airport baggage claim in their house.

2. Dani Alves

Alves' social media output is never anything less than zany, and it would appear that confinement has only served to amplify his super-sized personality.

Over the past three weeks, the Sao Paulo man has performed a romantic kitchen mop serenade, single-handedly brought back the "Cha-Cha Slide" and demonstrated a variety of synchronised exercise routines with his partner.

However, the image we'll never be able to scrub from our brains is watching Alves "laying" a large chocolate Easter egg -- complete with painful sound effects. Really makes the eyes water.

1. James Milner

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0:59

James Milner's pun-believable isolation XI

Whilst at home, James Milner picks an isolation squad using items around the house and word puns.

A relative newcomer to the social media world, Milner doesn't tweet very often, but when he does it's usually deadpan gold (self-satirising to such a level that he's rendered the lovingly teasing "Boring James Milner" Twitter account all-but redundant).

Take his "Isolation XI," for example, packed full of puns so bad they'd make your dad wince ("BREAD Friedel" and Frank LAMPard").

Over the past few weeks, we've also watched the Liverpool utility man painstakingly wash every individual pebble on his gravel driveway, cut his lawn by hand (with scissors in one hand and ruler in the other), fastidiously ration out the supply of tea bags and sharpen every pencil in his house as he prepared to start home-schooling his children.

Like we said: pure gold.

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